I hate to admit that, even on this blog thing that Ocean writes when she comes to the sea and I transmit it to her, I have been abused physically. Even though he can't ever read this. That would make me afraid, but Mermen don't read, or speak, or understand your human languages, and, living in water, we can't have anything to do with electrical contraptions like the silver box Ocean brings with her when we meet.
Why, she asked me, do you hate to admit something that was done to you?
It's because it makes you feel shame, ashamed, that you weren't able to get away when someone bigger than you was hurting you.
The horror lasts. The feeling of having to swim away at any second, at never being able to trust any Mermen again, oh, just lots of fears...
My head is hurt.
There is a bump on it and a cut in the middle of what you call a forehead.
I was so afraid!
Not only because of the physical danger he put me in, but, since I knew I was bleeding - although our blood is entirely different from yours, just like all fish blood - and just knowing that any sharks nearby would be able to smell my blood and...it was horrifying!
I couldn't get away from him!
His possessiveness and mania to keep me from leaving him is so scary!
I don't feel free.
I feel owned!
And unlike so many humans, I do not have a family.
Some Mers, born in big clusters of eggs, emerge together, or around the same time, siblings, and they continue to be friendly all their lives, but in many cases, as with other fish eggs, many become dislodged from where the mother fish had lain them, and float wherever.
Some stay together, a very few, as in my case. I had been lain with I suppose a cluster of eggs, and one other remained close to me as we drifted away...so I had one siblings, a Brother.
A magnificent Merman, who'd been an enchanting MerBoy, a close, close sibling whom I adored more than all others in the world!
How I miss him now!
He would have torn that Merman to pieces for harming me!
I wouldn't have had to be alone with him, for my Brother would always have stayed within range for me.
I will tell what happened to my Brother another day.
For now, I will only relate that he is no longer on our, or your, plane.
Oh, yes, Mers die too.
Or are killed.
And I felt like I might be killed two days ago, on Saturday by your human reckoning. We Mers do not attempt to name or label much of Nature. We do not restrain or try to retain time. We go only by tides and currents and of course, Moons.
We have no need to measure, to weigh, or to compartmentalize.
We live in the free ocean, the Seven Seas.
Free for most - but never for battered Mermaids.
Not if a renegade or a domineering Merman is stalking them.
For now, I am safe.
For now.
I am healing from my ordeal, and happy I am alive.
I still do not know how to extricate myself safely from this relationship.
He swears he will not let me go - alive.
He'll find me wherever I go and...and...
He says he cannot live without me.
Of course, he doesn't ask how I feel.
I used to feel I loved him.
But love is feeling safe, first, and feeling free, second.
And I only feel scared...
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
A Near Escape
I have to write about this.
Sometime ago, I'd mentioned the Merman I'm seeing.
Still seeing, stupidly.
Partly becasue I'm not sure, caught off-guard, and partly because I'm afraid to leave him, since he stalks me when I do, I'm still seeing him.
Physical abuse hurts.
Hurts our psyches, our feelings, our feelings of self-worth.
He, this Merman, who is literally twice my size, and, being a Mer, is a very powerful male, is so afraid of losing me that he has made me want to leave him.
By being so possessive, by being so scary to me, and by, as with two nights ago, being physically abusive to me, he's making me wish he was an an entirely different ocean.
When his paranoia made him perceive that I was unhappy and he felt that I was about to leave for good, he threw me into a rocky cliffside, near where we had been swimming, eating the seaweeds that grow along the bank, and then, threatening to kill us both if he couldn't keep me, he put his hands across my mouth and nose, stopping me from taking in water!
I could have died!
And now my neck and shoulders, my side, and my spirit hurts.
I could have others help me - some Mermen I know - but then, I'd still be looking over my fins everywhere I turned, wondering when he would emerge through the gloom and overtake me - and really take us both down for good!
Oh, yes, Mermen, as your land men, get this way.
Far too many Mermaids and land women die at the hands of these vicious, controlling males every year.
Brutality, bullying someone smaller than oneself, is a horrible crime, and sometimes we feel there is nowhere to turn, no way to get away.
I'm praying to God for a door to open - the right door for me, and to be protected in the meantime, and I pray for all females, all kids, all smaller than the brutes they are forced to live around, until their liberation comes and they can, again, be free.
Pry for me.
Sometime ago, I'd mentioned the Merman I'm seeing.
Still seeing, stupidly.
Partly becasue I'm not sure, caught off-guard, and partly because I'm afraid to leave him, since he stalks me when I do, I'm still seeing him.
Physical abuse hurts.
Hurts our psyches, our feelings, our feelings of self-worth.
He, this Merman, who is literally twice my size, and, being a Mer, is a very powerful male, is so afraid of losing me that he has made me want to leave him.
By being so possessive, by being so scary to me, and by, as with two nights ago, being physically abusive to me, he's making me wish he was an an entirely different ocean.
When his paranoia made him perceive that I was unhappy and he felt that I was about to leave for good, he threw me into a rocky cliffside, near where we had been swimming, eating the seaweeds that grow along the bank, and then, threatening to kill us both if he couldn't keep me, he put his hands across my mouth and nose, stopping me from taking in water!
I could have died!
And now my neck and shoulders, my side, and my spirit hurts.
I could have others help me - some Mermen I know - but then, I'd still be looking over my fins everywhere I turned, wondering when he would emerge through the gloom and overtake me - and really take us both down for good!
Oh, yes, Mermen, as your land men, get this way.
Far too many Mermaids and land women die at the hands of these vicious, controlling males every year.
Brutality, bullying someone smaller than oneself, is a horrible crime, and sometimes we feel there is nowhere to turn, no way to get away.
I'm praying to God for a door to open - the right door for me, and to be protected in the meantime, and I pray for all females, all kids, all smaller than the brutes they are forced to live around, until their liberation comes and they can, again, be free.
Pry for me.
The cure for anything is to do something to help someone who is helpless.
I've been swimming near Mexico, where the heroic people there have been lobbying and marching to stop the cruelty of bull fighting. It should be called something else, because it is not a fight, and not fair to the helpless bull, trapped in a ring with cruel people yelling while he is mercilessly stuck!
Please sign this: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/stop-bullfighting/
I've been swimming near Mexico, where the heroic people there have been lobbying and marching to stop the cruelty of bull fighting. It should be called something else, because it is not a fight, and not fair to the helpless bull, trapped in a ring with cruel people yelling while he is mercilessly stuck!
Please sign this: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/stop-bullfighting/
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Horses Need Us !
Just Send The Easy Humane Society Form to Save Wild Horses!
Mermaids and Mermen love horses too!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Do You Love Your Mother? Mothers are Great! Would You Please Help These Sweet Mommies?
Mermaids and Mermen love the idea of Mommies and Daddies.
We don't ever know ours, being fish - we're spawned from chance by millions of eggs and sperm being releaesd into the water and then our eggs collect on strands of seaweed.
To have a mommy is a great thing. To be born of her body, to be nurtured, nursed, and to have her loving arms around you mammals as little babies is great.
They deserve our love.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The Sea Wraithe by Ocean is HERE ! Ocean's Thriller Suspense Horror Mystery Novel !
Ocean's new novel, The Sea Wraithe, is a nail-bitingly intense suspense thriller novel of obsession set in the surfing community of Malibu, California, in the late eighties, when surfing had just begun to become a worldwide cultural phenomenon.
It's hot anti-hero, the protagonist-antogonist combined, is a character you will never forget - like Emily Bronte's Healthcliff, if he'd been a pro surfer, and his part - when this book becomes a movie - is one any leading actor will die to play. The ultra-shocking, contraversial ending to this novel will have you talking about it for years !
AND - Ocean's Poetry Books - Check Them Out1
Here's A Poem From One of Ocean's Poetry Books,
Here is one of Ocean's Dolphin Poems:
Dolphin Friend
- Poem by Ocean from her book, Animal Poems
a dolphin plays
along the shore
a pal of mine
my dogs implore
to swim along
and fetch a toy
the dolphins smile
and games employ
oh, Sunny one
in aqua waves,
I love your smile
i love your ways
of loving!
the New Year !
AND
Just as our souls, minds and bodies are aligned, so our food should be combined with our souls, too, for optimal health, happiness, and blessings!
Try these tasty, healthy, spiritually-uplifting treats for the New Year!!!
Just as our souls, minds and bodies are aligned, so our food should be combined with our souls, too, for optimal health, happiness, and blessings!
Try these tasty, healthy, spiritually-uplifting treats for the New Year!!!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Fairytales! Ocean's New Fairytales Debut Today at MermaidEbooks.com !
Ocean's New Fairytales!
Of course, Ocean is my human pal and the one who I transmit info to for this blog, so I'm very excited since I think some of my Mer Tales might have influenced Ocean's stories!
Go to Mermaid Ebooks and download a rad Mermaid Tale today!
They're fascinating, and beautifully illustrated by Ocean - check out the logo above!
And since these are fairytales, they're great for even tiny kids!
Ocean writes in so many genres!
I love her Mer histories, of course, but I also like the spooky tales she tells - and her new novels are very scary!
Ocean's New Novel !!!
Ocean's New Novel - Thriller, Suspense, Horror and Crime Drama All In One, Plus -
Eternal Love !
The Sea Wraithe debuts this week!!! We've all been waiting for it to be released, biting our collective nails in anticipation!
I hope I'll get to read it first!!!
Do you know what a Wraithe is?
The feminine of the word, of course, and it is a special type of spirit, a ghost, but one that is sometimes seen even before someone's death. Often a wraith has a specific mission or message to impart to the living.
Wow! I'm getting chills just thinking about how frightening a wraithe is!
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