A Near Escape

I have to write about this.
Sometime ago, I'd mentioned the Merman I'm seeing.
Still seeing, stupidly.
Partly becasue I'm not sure, caught off-guard, and partly because I'm afraid to leave him, since he stalks me when I do, I'm still seeing him.


Physical abuse hurts.
Hurts our psyches, our feelings, our feelings of self-worth.
He, this Merman, who is literally twice my size, and, being a Mer, is a very powerful male, is so afraid of losing me that he has made me want to leave him.
By being so possessive, by being so scary to me, and by, as with two nights ago, being physically abusive to me, he's making me wish he was an an entirely different ocean.


When his paranoia made him perceive that I was unhappy and he felt that I was about to leave for good, he threw me into a rocky cliffside, near where we had been swimming, eating the seaweeds that grow along the bank, and then, threatening to kill us both if he couldn't keep me, he put his hands across my mouth and nose, stopping me from taking in water!


I could have died!
And now my neck and shoulders, my side, and my spirit hurts.


I could have others help me - some Mermen I know - but then, I'd still be looking over my fins everywhere I turned, wondering when he would emerge through the gloom and overtake me - and really take us both down for good!


Oh, yes, Mermen, as your land men, get this way.
Far too many Mermaids and land women die at the hands of these vicious, controlling males every year.


Brutality, bullying someone smaller than oneself, is a horrible crime, and sometimes we feel there is nowhere to turn, no way to get away.


I'm praying to God for a door to open - the right door for me, and to be protected in the meantime, and I pray for all females, all kids, all smaller than the brutes they are forced to live around, until their liberation comes and they can, again, be free.


Pry for me.